Afterthoughts - Wild At Heart
by Goddess Isa
Summary: It's sort of hard to explain, so you just need to read it.


TITLE: Afterthoughts - Wild At Heart  
AUTHOR: Goddess Isa  
EMAIL: goddessisa@aol.com  
SUMMARY: It's sort of hard to explain, so you just need to read it.  
SPOILER: Wild At Heart  
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =)   
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it. =P  
RATING: TV-MA - the song lyrics are really something.  
DISCLAIMER: Joss owns the characters, I own their dialogue, and *NSYNC still have my heart. Painful addiction, people. I'm seeking professional help. The song I use is by Poe. If you're familiar with her at all, you don't dare have to ask what song it is. g Oh, and if there are any errors in the lyrics, do let me know. I copied them myself.   
  
  
  
//Johnny, Angry Johnny  
  
This is Jezebel in Hell   
  
I wanna kill you  
  
I wanna blow you  
  
Away  
  
  
I wanna kill you  
  
I wanna blow you away   
  
I can do it to you gently  
  
I can do it with an animal's grace  
  
I can do it with precision  
  
I can do it with gourmet taste   
  
But either way, either way  
  
I wanna kill you  
  
I wanna blow you away   
  
  
I can do it to your mind  
  
I can do it to your face  
  
I can do it with integrity   
  
I can do it with disgrace   
  
But either way, either way  
  
I wanna kill you  
  
I wanna blow you away   
  
  
Johnny, Johnny  
  
Angry Johnny  
  
This is Jezebel in Hell  
  
Johnny  
  
Angry Johnny  
  
This is Jezebel in Hell   
  
  
I can do in a church  
  
I can do it anytime or place  
  
I can do it like an angel  
  
To quiet down your rage   
  
  
But either way  
  
Either, oh either way  
  
I wanna kill you  
  
I wanna blow you away   
  
  
I can do it in the water  
  
I can do it on dry land  
  
I can do it with instruments  
  
I can do it with my own bare hands   
  
But either way, either way  
  
You know where it stands  
  
I wanna kill you  
  
I wanna blow you away   
  
  
Johnny, Johnny  
  
Angry Johnny  
  
This is Jezebel in Hell  
  
Johnny, oh my Johnny   
  
Where'd your pleasure go?  
  
When the pain went through you  
  
Where'd your happiness go?  
  
This curse is running you around now  
  
Getting you down now  
  
Where's your pleasure now, Johnny?  
  
Where has your pleasure gone now?\\  
  
  
  
"Will?" Buffy crept into their dorm room, scared of what she might find. The idea that Willow would do something stupid had crossed her mind, but she couldn't let Xander get himself killed on patrol to stop Willow from something she might not even be doing. It was a difficult situation and she breathed a sigh of relief when she found her best friend in her bed.   
  
She was curled into a ball, asleep. Soft snores came from her mouth and Buffy flicked off her CD player so she could get some peaceful rest. As soon as the room was silent though, Willow jerked.   
  
"In Hell..." she muttered.   
  
"Will?" Buffy asked. "Willow, get up."   
  
"No. Jezebel's in Hell." she replied sleepily.   
  
"Wake up, Willow."   
  
Slowly, the redhead stirred awake and pushed her hair out of her eyes. She managed a weak smile for her roommate. "Hey Buffy,"   
  
"You okay? This music isn't really your thing."   
  
"I know. It's Oz's. He loaned it to me ages ago, but I never......I don't know if this was the song he wanted me to listen to and tell him if the Dingoes should cover it, but somehow I doubt it." she yawned. "It's a little late now. I found the CD when I was throwing all his clothes out the window and got hooked."   
  
"Clothes out the window. That would explain while Xander met me for patrol in a "Hot Dog Cafe" t-shirt."   
  
"I just wanted rid of everything that would remind me of him, at least for awhile. I mean, I can't get rid of my bed, so..."   
  
"Willow, what happened?" Buffy finally felt safe to sit on the bed beside her best friend.   
  
She sat all the way up, leaning against her pillows. "Oz left. He's gone."   
  
"Oh, Will. I'm sorry."   
  
"I don't think I can cry anymore. I mean, I was Queen of Waterworks for like three days. For now, it's all about the male bashing."   
  
"Always fun, but are you really okay?"   
  
"No," she smiled weakly. "But I'm not suicidal, either."   
  
Buffy let out of the breath she'd been holding. "What really happened?"   
  
"I went to see him and I tried to talk, but he wasn't ready, or didn't want to, it's hard to tell with him sometimes. I found him packing, and he said he doesn't know where he's going or if he's coming back."   
  
"Oh, Willow." Buffy put her arm around her and held her close.   
  
"The last thing he said was that he loved me." she sniffled, realizing the tears were falling again. "I'll be okay though. I'm at this strange place right now. I'm all numb and sort of......"   
  
"Numb?" Buffy guessed.   
  
"Yeah." she agreed.   
  
"Terrible, isn't it?"   
"The worst."   
  
"I am so sorry."   
  
"Don't be. It isn't your fault. I feel bad now, 'cause of the whole thing with Angel. I realize now I wasn't nearly as supportive as I could've been."  
  
"I've never been angry at you for that. You did the best you could, and it was enough." she paused. "Most of the time."   
  
"That demon you sliced and diced into pieces got the brunt of your anger, I think."   
  
Buffy nodded.   
  
"I was thinking, before I fell asleep, that maybe we needed to learn how to communicate better. And I know what I need to do."   
  
"What?"   
  
"Sulk," she smirked.   
  
"I'll help." Buffy offered.   
  
"You could probably use a good sulk. You never sulked after Angel left, you just sort of faded away."   
  
"I'm still kinda pale. I'm working my way back though. I still haven't really taken the time to deal."   
  
"Really? Whose picture was on Xander's dartboard all summer?"   
  
Buffy smiled. "Cordelia's."   
  
"Okay, but behind it." Willow said.   
  
"I think I've had it with men." Buffy stretched out her legs.   
  
"Me too." Willow sighed. "How come we get so hung up on them? We allow them to invade our hearts and souls and then they step on us. Why do we let them?"   
  
"'Cause they're nice, at first anyway. They're soft and cuddly and they make us feel safe."   
  
"Loved," Willow added.   
  
"Desired." Buffy's mind was filled with images of Angel.   
  
"Needed." Willow thought of Xander.   
"Wanted."   
  
They sat in silence for a long time, contemplating all they'd just said.   
  
"Buffy, I don't know what I'd do without you."   
  
"Makes two of us."   
  
"Do you need to do another sweep?"   
  
"Not for awhile."   
  
"Wanna go get some Ben & Jerry's?"   
  
Buffy hopped off the bed. "I thought you'd never ask."  



End file.
